Letters
by Blue Saturday
Summary: Duncan got stuck responding to a bunch of children's letters to Santa Claus. Let's just say that it doesn't go too well.


**Disclaimer: I do not own _Total Drama_**

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It wasn't long ago when Duncan Evans was a little kid, writing letters to Santa Claus in anticipation for Christmas. He would make the letter as neat as a boy his age could, and would talk about all of the good deeds that he had recently done in an attempt to convince the man that he had indeed been good this year. The little boy would spend all Christmas Eve baking cookies with his mother for Santa and made sure that the living room was completely spotless and nothing was blocking the chimney. It had indeed been Duncan's favorite time of year.

Now, that magic was lost on the seventeen year old punk staring at a box of letters written to Kris Kringle from a group of first graders. Duncan couldn't help but roll his wasn't like he was doing this by choice. No, the boy was being forced into this as part of the terms of his parole. Community Service. He wasn't the only one here, there were several people volunteering who Duncan could only classify as nerds; simply doing this because it looked good on college applications or some shit. The delinquent half hazardly grabbed the letter on top of his tack and almost laughed at the kid's request.

_Dear Santa Claus,_

_How are you? Happy, sad, tired? I don't know! I have been good this year and for Christmas I really special present. That special present is a race car. I will leave you milk and cookies and Rudolph some food!_

_Love, Gavin._

A mischievous smirk grew on Duncan's face as he opened the word document and turned it to the correct formatting as Harold McGrady, the teen who helped run this event, instructed him to. It didn't even take him ten words to respond, a response that he thought was hilarious.

_Dear Gavin,_

_Santa isn't real._

_Love, Duncan._

"Duncan!" The punk's fun was over when he heard the shrill voice of his girlfriend, Courtney Martinez, directly behind him. The scowl that always seemed on her face when she was dealing with him was more evident than ever. It only caused him to smirk more.

"Yes, Princess?" he asked, putting on the most innocent expression that he could muster, and it was admittedly a good one. His princess, however, seemed rather pissed. It was mostly doing, that he could tell. But, it also didn't help her mood that she was running late and had to apologize to Harold. Harold!

"It's not funny, Duncan! You can't just tell a little kid that Santa isn't real! That's not the assignment." Courtney lectured in her holier-than-thou voice. "God, you're so stupid, sometimes. Can't you stop joking around for...I don't know, ten minutes and write a decent response? Do you want to go to juvie again?" Honestly, Duncan stopped listening to her rant as soon as she told him that his stunt wasn't funny. He stood there, and watched his girlfriend's face contort in anger. She was pretty, the stupid mushball in Duncan would even go as far as to call her beautiful, even when she was screaming at him about he was a dumbass. His thoughts were interrupted by another shriek of annoyance from his girlfriend.

"DUNCAN, ARE YOU EVEN LISTENING TO ME?" She yelled, causing her to be chastised by Harold. God, Duncan was going to have to do something about him later, wasn't he? Her face was stained bright red from anger in a way that made her freckles stand out, just the way that her boyfriend liked it. This made the grinch-like smile on the punk's face only grow wider.

"Mellow your yellow, hot stuff. It's just some dumb kid," Duncan shrugged, ignoring his girlfriend's protests. It wasn't like he wanted to do the letters anyways. Courtney, however was not nearly as amused by the punk's antics.

"He is a first grader, you ass! Change it."

"Oh, come one, babe! You know that it's hilarious!" Duncan laughed as he lazily flung an arm around Courtney One that she immediately pushed off.

"Change it!" Oh, she made this too easy.

"Nah, I don't think I will." He shrugged leaning back in the chair and sticking his feet on the desk he was forced into for the time being. Pfff, community service. It honestly took all of his willpower to stop from laughing when Courtney nearly threw a temper tantrum at his attitude.

"Take this seriously, Duncan!" This resulted in a simple eyeroll from the delinquent to her right.

"Why, Princess? It's not like you even like the holiday. You always complain it" The punk questioned.

"Duncan, it is community service. Not only that, but it is part of your parole! And what do you mean that I don't like Christmas? Why, I am the most jolly person that I know!" Duncan couldn't help but laugh at the ridiculousness of that statement. Courtney spent the last couple of weeks complaining about the holiday and how impractical it was to go around taking a break from more important things like work and buy a ton of gifts for people that they probably don't even like. Courtney was practically Ebenezer Scrooge.

"Will it make you happy if I wrote a nicer letter, princess?" Duncan sighed realizing that this argument was going anywhere fun like it normally did.

"Yes it would!" Duncan stood up, and leaned in to kiss her, showing her that she clearly won.

"Only for you, Courtney." They kissed, and honestly, it was a nice moment. All nice moments with Duncan were short lived however, and this was no exception. Duncan's hands began to wonder until they felt his way to Courtney's um, asset.

The punk was left with a bright red hand print across his face and a stupid grin that he was sure would be there for hours. However, after that he complied to his girlfriend's wishes and began to write that Gavin dork an actual response.

Dear Gavin,

Thank you very much for your letter! I am doing good this year, and Rudolph and I are very excited to come to Muskoka! I will do my best to get you a bucket, but just know that the most important part of Christmas isn't the gifts, it is spending time with your family and friends. Enjoy the holiday, Gavin. I hope to see you soon!

Your pal, Santa Claus.

After reading over it, Courtney couldn't help to smile at her boyfriend. "Wow, Duncan, that's kind of sweet." Though, he would never admit it, the delinquent could feel his cheeks turn red from her comment.

"Me, sweet? Hell no." He protested, if only trying to defend his pride.

"I think so," Courtney argued "Face it, Duncan, you're a big softy."

"Only for you, princess." He sighed as she smiled and pulled him in for a kiss, but not before Duncan took the the letter and began to add more.

_Ps: Also, you could try getting laid_

He only smirked when Courtney began to chastise him again.

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**And Fin!**

**You might not believe me, but this was originally a very angsty Gwuncan story. I started typing Courtney instead of Gwen and then this happened.**

**And, I think Gavin's letter was cute! I respond to Christmas letters every year, and the letter that I used was pretty much how every little boy's letter sounded. Some kids asked for some weird things,though. Someone really wanted a bucket, one girl asked for math problems for Christmas, there was a kid that asked if Santa would steal his baby brother and make him work as an elf, and then one kid said:**

**"Dear Santa. If you are real prove it. I have a lot of the Harry Potter movies but I'm missing some. Which one's are they and if you know can you bring them to me for Christmas."**

**Kids these days. American Girl dolls seem to be the thing though because I responded to like twenty letters asking for them.**

**Anyways, Merry Christmas Eve Eve (to those of you who celebrate it),**

**Jennavieve~**


End file.
